I’m down with change.

by Melissa on August 19, 2013

Ah. Monday morning. If you were any other Monday, I’d beĀ ready for you to be over, but this week I’m pretty cool with you.

I’m actually looking forward to this week, for two reasons. The first is because I’m in the midst of a change in routine. I need change. Tremendously. I can’t even begin to explain how much I need change. (And I apologize ahead of time if this week’s posts are bit journal-like compared to normal. If that makes sense.)

I had a chat with breakdown on my husband Saturday night, and I’m glad it all finally came out. I’ve been overwhelmingly on the verge of tears for a few days now, and I feel terrible that despite the fact that it had nothing to do with him, he got to experience the brunt of irritable ol’ me. There’s just been too much weighing on my mind, and to many of you they may seem so minute, but when you add it all up at once…

Frustrations with my body. Was it my body that caused my miscarriage? Why won’t my lower back stop aching? Why do I feel so weak in my core, despite my efforts?

Feelings of loss. For obvious reasons. I just don’t want to talk about it more than I have on here, honestly.

Feeling “not-so-pretty”. My hair’s always up in a messy topknot. I wasn’t doing my makeup anymore. I never pamper myself anymore…aside from a apple cider vinegar foot soak here and there to make my feet feel refreshed. I know this is such a trivial “issue”, but I know you ladies know exactly where I’m going with this. I’ll talk more about this in another post.

Feelings of anger over the selfishness and/or cruelty I see being exhibited by others. I’ve witnessed and heard so much in regards to this recently. This could turn into a post all of its own, so I won’t elaborate. Right now. ;)

My grandmother got on the phone with me for the first time in months. She has no clue what weather is…sigh. Her mind is fading so quickly, and all I want to do is hug my grandfather for never giving up on her. I’m so sad knowing we’re slowing losing her. Alzheimer’s is a nasty, cruel disease.

Frustrations with my impatience and grad school. Trivial. I know.

I’ve been a mess the last few days. Feelings that I thought I would have overcome by now… frustrations with everything – you name it – it all boiled over this weekend, and it made me realize that I need to just let go. Let it all go.

Patience with yourself

The second reason I’m welcoming Monday this week is because, in all her perfect timing, my best friend will be in town on Wednesday, and we both need this very therapeutic visit terribly. (She lost a very dear friend of hers the same day I miscarried…how’s that for timing and for proof that misery loves company???)

With that said, I’m using this busy week as a means to get my blogging butt in gear. I’ve needed the boost to get some posts done ahead of time so that I’m not scrambling to hit “publish”…or to avoid not writing at all. I love this blog. So I’m working on a few posts so they are done ahead of time, and so that I can spend as much time with her as possible.

In regards to my change in routine, I’ve decided I need to change things up in the exercise and “diet” departments. Side note: I hate the word “diet”. I always mean it in terms of the food I put into my mouth, but there’s a stigma that comes with that word, and I just don’t want to say it anymore. How about “fare”? “Sustenance”? Hahahahaha, “staff of life”??? (That’s actually a synonym for “diet”, not even kidding.)

My continuous routine over the last several months has been rotating full body workouts and cardio sessions. I’m just not digging it anymore. It’s become mundane. I’m bored…and I feel as though because I’m not running (my heart’s not in it right now….but it’s getting there as we approach the fall), I need to focus more on upper and lower body splits.

I also need to hold myself a bit more accountable. Not to do the workouts necessarily…but to bump up the intensity. So…I need your help with that. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook.? Pretty please? I’ll be posting a daily workout image (or two) on these platforms. Not just to show I’ve worked out, but because I want to make sure I’m not wimping out on my workouts (proof will be in the calorie-burn and heart rate training – which will be another post I write). We all know accountability works. ;) What’s in the plan:

MWF: am: 45 minutes of low-intensity cardio

MWF: pm: upper and lower body splits, rotated each week. (read: 2 upper, 1 lower one week, 2 lower, 1 upper the next)

TTHSAT: am: high-intensity cardio (long runs with H, speed intervals, hill intervals, HIIT, hiking with H, you name it, I’ll be switching it up)

TTHSAT: pm: yoga

SUN: rest.

So, look for my post(s) on IG and FB today. I’m ready for change.

Tomorrow is another chance.

Q’sOTD:

…Do you feel better after you freshen up your look?

…Do you ever catch sight of nasty, demeaning comments on social media and get riled up? (Friends, strangers, whatever. I’ve seen a lot of it recently.)

…How do you split up your workouts?

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah@creatingbettertomorrow August 19, 2013 at 6:48 am

You are so strong! Not only for what you’ve made in through but for recognizing the need for change, I’m in a season of change too right now and trying to accept it is HARD! But I keep telling myself there are just seasons of our lives that we have to fight through a bit harder, and it is one of those times for me – you can do this! I just went and bought 2 new outfits, I hate shopping – and feel amazing in it right now!

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Liz @ The Girl on Fire Now August 19, 2013 at 10:29 am

You really are an incredible person (and I feel quite lazy for not getting my butt out of bed now …)
Liz @ The Girl on Fire Now recently posted…Where did my Appetite Go?My Profile

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Keia Lee August 19, 2013 at 1:54 pm

I completely understand the need for change! If things get stagnant in my life I crave a good change to alter my mood. I wish you the best of luck with your changes :D
Oh and I’m not following via Instagram & Facebook! I’m looking forward to seeing your progress!
Keia
Keia Lee recently posted…Life PlanningMy Profile

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Ericka @ The Sweet Life August 19, 2013 at 3:11 pm

You are awesome, you are NOT alone. So many times I’m fighting these hard battles and usually don’t post about them but they happen more than you would know. My heart is with you. I hope your friend gives you some comfort. Life is a struggle sometimes but as one of my favorite bloggers (Momastery) says, “We can do hard things.” And in the end, we are better for them. Hugs :)
Ericka @ The Sweet Life recently posted…Richmond Marathon Training ReportMy Profile

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Angie January 3, 2014 at 6:37 pm

I’m in the midst of some changes as well. Also looking to shake up the exercise routine…trying for the first time a barre class and hopefully yoga soon

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