Ch-ch-ch-changes.

by Melissa on September 3, 2012

I can’t believe it’s September already…the time passes by so quickly these days, and that’s part of the reason why I wrote Thursday’s post in regards to turning 30. I haven’t had time to elaborate more on the direction in which I plan to head, because I’ve been busy being present…with my best friend and my family. I’ve taken some time, though, to think about my priorities, and while I think about them every day anyhow, I wanted to take some time to approach them in a more present way.

As a mom, my main priority is always my family – I want everything I do to reflect positively on them, and that will never change. So my health (mental, emotional, and physical) is right up there with them. In the case of my personal priorities, though, they always change, but there is one thing that remains constant:

Goals.

For over about two months now, I’ve been running The Weekly Chase – a project to link-up bloggers in attempts to build great support systems. In light of my birthday post, I’ve decided that I no longer want to run the project.

Why?

  1. I want to live presently and not held down by specific goals. Of course I’ll have goals – I love goals, but I don’t want to live each week with the “I should be getting this done” thought rolling around in my head. No “I shoulds”. Just “I cans” and “I got tos”. Guilt doesn’t equate to joy.
  2. I haven’t been a shining Weekly Chase example. I set goals, and like many of you, I got some of them done and I missed some of them entirely. However, there were roughly 20 “chasers” involved in this project, and I wasn’t able to take the time to cheer every single one of you on. I couldn’t visit every blog every week. I felt guilty most of the time, because I set up a project that I couldn’t always back 100%. (Does this make sense?)
  3. Goals, in my (current) eyes, need to have a certain amount of passion involved. I feel like my goals were redundant…ongoing…and typical. Boring. They are goals that should be coming natural to me right now (and typically do). Working out. Planning meals. Drinking water. Boring. I have more on my mind than those things, and this blog is meant to do so much more than bore you.
  4. I hate, hate, hate that I feel guilty and let down if life happens and I “miss” a goal. Jess knew it. She knew it before I did. No matter how much I tell you all that I’m not going hard on myself, I do…and over goals that I can normally meet. (And just because they’re posted here, if I don’t do them, I feel the word “fail” creep back into my mind.) I do not want you all to be posting goals and feeling the same word creeping up in your vocabulary. Not healthy – and that means I want nothing to do with it.

I loved the friendships that were created out of this project, and I don’t plan on letting them dwindle just because I won’t be running a weekly project like this. It’s taken a lot of thought on whether to let this project go, but I think it’s for my own good and for yours as well. Goals are personal. Very personal. They may not be so personal that they aren’t meant to be shared, but they are personal in terms of the emotion that goes into them. Failure, success, anxiety, and fear; you name it, it’s there. It’s not as simple as running a “What I Ate Wednesday” project…goals require a lot of thought, SMART planning, and dedication. Goals can’t always be shoved into a 7-day timespan, and I don’t want to focus on the gogogogogogogo any longer. I don’t want to feel guilty for living life and taking it as it comes.

PS: Feel free to #weeklychase for as long as you want! I’ll keep my eye on that hashtag!

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Maureen September 3, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I totally understand where you are coming from. I started 2012 with some goals {eat better, exercise more} and did a monthly check-up. At first I did well because I started the year NOT doing these things. But as they became more & more “normal” for me, I just didn’t think they were productive goals anymore. And you’re right, goals can be very personal. :)

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Mindy @Road Runner Girl September 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I totally understand girl. I will miss this post but you have to do what is right for you! :-) I will probably continue to weekly chase because it helps give me a focus for the week and it helps keep me accountable. Thanks for starting it!

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ilene September 3, 2012 at 6:21 pm

First of all, I am so happy I got to know you through #weeklychase – and despite the end of the link up, you and I are solid, girl. And that’s a huge gift for me. Everything has an ending, and I totally respect your decision to end #weeklychase – but I also have to say, that I always found you to be an inspiration, even on the weeks that you didn’t hit the “goal.”

Cheers to you – and onward!

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Christy September 3, 2012 at 8:04 pm

You’re an inspiration, Melissa… whether you’re chasing weekly goals or just being you! I will miss the link up but will still be visiting those friends I’ve met through the project. Thanks for being such a gracious host and best wishes as you move forward in this next phase of your life!

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Laura @ Mommy Run Fast September 3, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Sorry to hear that, Melissa… but it makes a lot of sense. I’m glad you’re able to do what’s best for you. And I can’t remember if I came over last week to say happy birthday, but if not, hope it was wonderful! Happy 30th!!

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Miss Molly September 3, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Oh my! I am shoked but you gotta do what you gotta do! I hope that things are okay though and that whatever you want to do it is awesome! I hope that you are successful in whatever comes your way!!!!!!!

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Sarah September 3, 2012 at 11:22 pm

I support your decision even if I am sad to see the link up go! I still find your story inspirational and I simply adore you and your support. I know you are doing what is best for you and I’m glad to see you allow yourself a bit more leeway in terms of your goals. I will continue to choose and chase weekly goals as I have found a certain level of accountability that I am thrilled to incorporate :) Thank you for inspiring so many of us to push ourselves a bit harder and to support each other a little bit more. I am so thankful to have found the Chase and all of the wonderful bloggers who have participated. Thank you!!!

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jobo September 4, 2012 at 9:40 am

Goals ARE personal, absolutely agree. for some, sharing them publicly is super helpful and motivating, for others, it’s not. For me, it’s sort of a mix of both. sometimes it can be paralyzing to say them out loud and sometimes I like to share them AFTER I meet them (lately, that’s been my MO, share after completion!). I am proud of you for making this decision. you know you best and you keep learning from YOU and I love that. XOXO

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Melissa September 4, 2012 at 10:59 am

I’m with you on the mix of both. I love putting my goals out there…but you’re right. It can be paralyzing. I feel a post coming on. lol Of course. You and Jess always provoke me. ;)

I was finding that even though I was posting my goals, I wasn’t feeling as accountable as I was expecting. Maybe because I was overwhelmed? I think the project needed a makeover…so it’s still going to happen, but it’ll be far less overwhelming for me.

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Jess September 4, 2012 at 10:07 am

SO glad you’re going back to doing things ‘your’ way versus letting a project like this rule your life in a not-so-happy-or-healthy way per se. Like I said, you were putting SO much pressure on yourself that it was stealing the joy out of the goals you’ve been chasing. Instead of letting the goal-chasing become a fun and joyful time, which I truly believe should always be the case. I’m proud of you friend, for constantly evolving and always staying true to you and for always being HONEST and real. xoxo

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Melissa September 4, 2012 at 10:54 am

It’s funny how some people know you better than you know yourself, isn’t it? I actually decided to go through with the chase…I wrote about it this morning. BUT, I’m setting some rules for myself. You know me well enough to know I can’t live without goals, and I don’t think anyone should. I need to find a balance between goals and being present. That’s my goal for this year. lol I do refuse to set too many goals. To think that I can take on the world in one week, you know? I decided that after all the comments yesterday, it wasn’t fair to take away something a lot of people have found useful just because I’m not feeling it. So I’m restricting to one goal. And then I’ll do the same to those linking up…themed weeks…where they can only focus on something like pampering themselves. You know? I don’t want this to become something we obsess about.

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