I’ve been debating writing this post for many reasons, and the main reason being the fact that so many people have already touched on it lately. (It may even begin to feel like we’re beating a dead horse here.) Yet, it sits in the back of my mind, because I have personally experienced it. I’m finding it hard to figure out where to start on this topic, so I’ll just start it bluntly.
People who steal the glory out of anyone’s accomplishments really piss me off.
About a week ago, I ran my first half marathon in an official, sponsored race. The Rock ‘n’ Roll marathon series made my first 13.1 an incredibly fun and unforgettable experience, and it’s a day I have been replaying in my head for a week. However, for a few weeks prior to my big race and even for several days after, I noticed comments, tweets, and blog posts regarding what makes a runner a runner…what miles count or don’t count…who’s really a half marathoner and who’s not. Do you know how discouraging that can be!? It has made me doubt myself before, and it’s made me wonder if walking just for a few seconds makes me less of a runner than someone else. Luckily, I’ve grown so much as a runner over the past year that I’ve learned that it doesn’t take a certain time or distance to make you a runner. I’ve learned that the initial feeling of not being worthy of calling yourself a runner comes from the negativity surrounding the entitlement of others, and that’s got to stop. I’ve made myself clear on the topic of what makes someone an athlete before, and I’m getting sick and tired of other people stealing the glory out of others’ accomplishments.
Miles are miles, people. My legs, your legs, her legs, his legs…they all do the same amount of work to log those miles. We all face our days of terrible runs, perfect runs, and mental runs. We’re all our own biggest critics…until someone else decides to take steal the reigns on that job. Someone goes and opens his or her mouth regarding whose miles are more “official”, and what should be the amazing feeling of being healthy and fit and able becomes the feeling of doubt and unworthiness. Let me ask you something: if I ran a race, wearing an official race bib, and you ran the same race with me, just unregistered and as a running buddy, do you honestly think I’m going to look at you and tell you that you’re not really a half marathoner because you didn’t wear a bib?? Do you think I’m going to forget the fact that you just ran the same miles as me? No. A bib, a medal, and a finisher’s certificate do not make you more of a runner than someone who doesn’t own them, and just because someone doesn’t own them doesn’t mean they haven’t earned them.
So where in the world do people get the audacity to turn around and consider someone’s hard-earned miles “null” because they can’t pull up their official time on a website? Where does this entitlement come from? Why do people have the nerve to shoot others down? Shame on you. Race, no race, slow or fast, we all come from the same place: the first step.
There’s another side to the story, too, though. It’s almost the exact opposite of the “I race, therefore I am better than you” perspective. It’s the “I don’t need that shit” perspective. I realize that the larger, sponsored races are expensive. (If it weren’t for the help of two amazing moms, I couldn’t have afforded to make it to Chicago. Just a little FYI. I am in school and I am a stay-at-home-mom.) I realize that many runners don’t live in an area that have half marathon races to run, so being in a race would require travel – additional expenses and even more time. I realize that some of you don’t love the race atmosphere for various reasons – too competitive, too stressful, too crowded, too whatever. I personally love races for the mere fact that I’m surrounded by other runners. It’s a change from solitary runs, and I love the atmosphere!
But let me set something straight – just because I race, it doesn’t mean I’m materialistic or whatever you consider “one of them”. Not all racers are in it for the “bling”, the photos, the official times, or the grandeur. If you’re finding that you can’t or won’t attend a race for whatever reason, it’s just as wrong to turn around and steal the glory from those that can and have. What makes you think that racers require all of those things? Sure they’re awesome! I love my medal! I couldn’t take my eyes off of it, and it wasn’t because it sparkled. It was because I earned that bad boy! I worked my ass off for it! I loved the feeling of sprinting to the finish line, despite the pain I’d been in, and having people cheering for me and taking photos. But, is it a requirement for me to feel like a runner? No. Does it make me pompous? No. Should I be put in a category of people who have to have those things in order to feel like a runner? Absolutely not. Don’t take your personal (and very legitimate) reasons for not running a race and “justify” them by saying you don’t need all of the above in order to feel like a runner. It makes those of us who have run a race feel like materialistic assholes – like you should be placed on a pedestal for not requiring anything more than shoes and pavement. Neither do I, trust me. Most racers don’t, actually, and the ones that do and walk around rubbing it in are the same ones that probably tell others that they’re not runners until they race.
We all work damn hard for the miles we put on our legs. We all share common traits: determination, perseverance, patience, and strength. Run your runs. Log your 5K’s, your 10K’s, your half, full, or ultra marathons. Bask in the glory of what you’ve accomplished, because you deserve it!!! Running is hard work and requires more than a pair of good shoes and the ability to move. Yes, there are situations that set some runners (or any athlete) apart from others…that’s why they’re called elite athletes or Olympians. (Would you call the Olympian that placed 4th less than a runner than the guy that placed 1st? Would the 4th place Olympian say “I don’t need that shit anyway” after losing to the top 3? I didn’t think so.) Play nice, guys. Play nice. We’re all in this for the same reason.
It’s too bad we can’t just put an end to the poor sportsmanship. I am constantly inspired by other people, whether they race or don’t race, win or lose, whatever. Their accomplishments bring me joy. There is glory in everything we accomplish and on whatever terms we chose to accomplish them, and remember:













{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Holy moly. This post was knock-my-socks-off AMAZING. Wow. Just wow.
The other day I attached an image on my twitter that said “whether it’s a 14 minute mile or a 7 minute mile, it is still a mile”.
I am not fast by any means, but just because my pace is slower doesn’t mean I’m not working my butt off. LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH!
I LOVE THIS TOO and for life not only running or fitness.
theres never a need to belittle anyone.
theres room enough for us all to rock.
Seriously well said! I know the whole who is a “real” runner debate is out there but I’m fortunate to have never experienced it personally.
LOVE! I don’t know why people feel the need to debate these silly things. Why not applaud people for getting up and MOVING no matter what the speed is?
This is a fantastic post. I will be sharing it! Typically the running community is so supportive, but I’ve been hearing a few things lately about paces, etc not being Runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far you go, JUST GO!
Oh my goodness! I LOVE this post!!! I especially love the quote “Race, no race, slow or fast, we all come from the same place: the first step.” I’ve NEVER heard that before, but I love it. Like MizFit says above, there’s room for everyone to rock! (She’s so wise, isn’t she?!)
Wow. I guess I’ve avoided the negativity or clicked away, but I have had to step back from some running forums when people were always complaining about being “slow” or “only” running 12 miles, when their slows paces were faster than my sprints and my body falls apart after 10 miles! To me, running is all about setting personal goals and doing the work to achieve them.
Awesome post and very well written! Made me feel a lot better for stopping a few seconds when I run. Felt guilty because of the naysayers. But you are right- we are still out there doing it, step by step. We ARE runners! Lol that makes me wanna blow a raspberry at the negative people out there
:p
Great post For the longest time I didn’t call myself a runner let alone athlete b/c I didn’t feel I deserved that title compared to other “runners.” It was like because I was “only” running maybe 5 miles max that didn’t qualify me as a runner.
love you! don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re not a half-marathoner. so proud of you
Great post! You are for sure a half marathoner and a every mile counts! I have been running for years and still have walked during runs/races and would never not think of myself as a runner. Who cares how fast or slow the miles are, they are miles and we are all doing more then those sitting at home!
Excuse my language…but abso-fuckin-lutely. This post was absolutely stupendous, my friend (yes, stupendous hehe), and so right on. A mile is a mile, 13.1 is a half, no matter if it is a sponsored race or in your own neighborhood (which I find even more challenging, no crowds cheering, no aid stations, no water and fuel everywhere). There is judgement everywhere but I have seen this run rampant lately and it is very frustrating. We aren’t all ‘elite’ runners in the sense of speed, professional athletes who do this for a living etc, we run because we are challenged, because we love it and because it never gets easier and THAT is what drives us to keep going. XOXO LOVE this.
So sorry that you even had to write this post. I have people in my own family who try to do this to me. For quite some time it was heartbreaking but I have learned to take the strong feelings I get when they say something to me, ride them out and, then let them go. Haters will never change, it’s up to us to not hang on to our upset. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, but it means we don’t carry it around, because then they win. Writing a post like this is a great way of doing just that. I commend you for all of your hard work with your running and your writing. Congratulations on being a half marathoner!
So well said!! It’s so sad to me that people have to hate on others to make themselves feel better!
You’re so right. People always feel the need to compare and draw categories and it’s usually just about validating themselves. So silly. A mile is a mile, slow or fast. A runner is a runner, 1/2 mile or 26.2!
I remember reading some comments and snarkiness about a blogger who ran a half marathon but walked some of it. These mean people were diminishing what she did and it made me really angry. I don’t think it matters. If someone does an event and they finish happy, who cares what their time is, if they walked, etc etc? People should just be positive about someone’s accomplishments. We can’t all be Olympic athletes and that’s ok.
a mile is a mile is a mile, and you’re right, it’s completely the mindset that counts!
When I started running the first person I ever trained with told me that running was only about you, your runs, and your times. Everything else is inconsequential. It’s hard lesson to learn as most at one point or another get caught up in the competitive nature of the sport, however, it’s something that keeps you going during the tough times. Great post.
I am currently training for my first half marathon so this really resonates with me. I am a slow runner, and I am okay with that. BUT I always find myself saying, I am running just the half or I am a slow runner, as if its an excuse.
Thanks for the reminder, that running 13.1 hell even running 3.1 is an accomplishment. People who are out there getting after it are runners. ANd those who say miles don’t count because they are below a certain pace just need to find gratification in their running, and I am not indulging in that.
Damn. Gorgeous gorgeous post. I’ll go with my sister’s approach here so excuse the language but EFF YEAH. To anyone who thinks they have a right to judge someone else’s ability – they can EFF OFF. We’re all athletes in our own right, we’re all runners in our own right, and that is NOT defined by how fast someone else ran a race, how many races they’ve run, how many lbs they can lift, or how many reps they can do. Quit comparing, quit making this a popularity contest, fitness is a PERSONAL endeavor above all else. That is all.
I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience this! No one deserves belittling of any kind. Everyone with a body is an athlete –> an anyone with legs is a runner!
I honestly don’t think anyone could’ve said this message better. You’re awesome girl! Thank you so much for sharing
This is a great post! You touched on a lot of really important things here. The one that resonated most with me is this, “We all work damn hard for the miles we put on our legs. We all share common traits: determination, perseverance, patience, and strength. Run your runs. Log your 5K’s, your 10K’s, your half, full, or ultra marathons. Bask in the glory of what you’ve accomplished, because you deserve it!!!”
I may not be able to run a mile in one interval, but dammit, I’m pouring all I’ve got into every run I do. And yes, I walk, but that doesn’t make my accomplishments any less than what they are to me. And no one can take them away from me. So, screw everyone else and their negative vibes! I have enough to contend with in my own head anyway! Thanks for another excellent post!
Just wanted to say how much I LOVE this post! I am tired of running and people obsessing about my time, and comparing. The way I look at it now is FINISHING = WINNING. I’m tired of what other people think, I run for me, nobody else. Again, loved this post!!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!! I didn’t even finish reading your post and I just had to comment! I run/walk my marathons. That’s right, run/walk. And guess what? To the some of runners that refuse to walk because they consider it cheating…I passed you:) Does it make me less of a runner because I walk? No. It’s how I cross the finish line. It’s how I maintain my energy. It’s how I train. Thank you, Melissa! I’m sharing your post with the world, girl!
Clearly, this subject rubs me the wrong way, too.
And now that I finished your post, I agree. A mile is a mile is a mile (sorry if I jumped the gun there:). I had a friend that had to back out of NYC with a hurt knee a few weeks before the marathon. She was so upset, but in the end she was just happy that she got to 24 miles in training. 24 miles! In my mind, she finished the race!
wowzers, you nailed it here girl. there are always jerks that discredit others because, well they are jerks. in running, in racing, in life. i think an athlete or a runner can be anyone. there are not rules of certain pacing one needs, miles per week on should clock, or a specific way a runner needs to look. those who think there is are just poop heads. the reason why i love running so much is because it is so accessible to everyone.
it can be hard to drown out the chatter from others, but keep doing what you do cause you’re awesome. you are who you are, and aren’t who you aren’t.
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